


Devilish

by Blankpires



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Atheism, Debauchery, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, References to Depression, Religion, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 04:59:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18113768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blankpires/pseuds/Blankpires
Summary: Leeteuk thinks about the world he lives in.[Based on the song Devilish by Chase Atlantic]





	Devilish

While sitting on the couch of Siwon's house, Leeteuk looked at Siwon and wondered, isn't in him at least a little bit of doubt? He couldn't imagine himself ever, believe in a God like Siwon does.

He lived a life that if Siwon knew even half of half he would beg Leeteuk to go to church and ask for forgiveness. Wasn't it better to live a life of debauchery? It helps him forget everything "God" has so kindly blessed him with, depression, anxiety etc all that.

"Siwon" He lowered his phone and looked at his hyung  
"Yes?"  
"How many times do you think you sin?" Siwon looked startled for a moment, but in a second he answered  
"Very few times and I always make sure to ask for forgiveness."  
"Okay." That was kind of what he expected to hear. Siwon looked like the type to be like that. Leeteuk couldn't even imagine himself getting on his knees to pray.  
"Why do you ask hyung?" He huffed  
"No reason I was just wondering."  
"Oh okay. Just know that if you ever want to come to church with me-" He got up from the couch and looked at the wall  
"God doesn't exist and he's a mythical ambition. You won't ever catch me praying." Without really caring for an answer he decided to go back home. He had come over to hang out a bit with Siwon but it was already 21h and they already had said to each other all they had to say.

While driving back home he thought about religion once again. He didn't need to believe in any of that stupid stuff he was good the way he was. 'My medication got me higher than heaven' he thought and gave a little laugh to himself. He was going to enter hell again today.

At home he decided to call one of his girls, to get his mind off things. All this religion stuff made him bored and his mental health stuff made him feel like shit, so sex sounded like the perfect remedy.

Once she arrived all his previois thoughts just went somewhere else. He focused on her short dress and how he couldn't wait to take if off of her.

"Did you miss me oppa?"  
"Hmm a lot. How's Inhye?" She pouted. She looked pretty cute like that, ready for Leeteuk to eat...  
"Why do you care about her? I'm here aren't I?" He smirked and motioned for her to sit on his lap, she sat with her legs on each of Leeteuk's sides.  
"I might fuck your friend, I haven't made up my mind yet."  
That made her pout even harder but then she grinded down on him.  
"Fuck me first then."  
And so he did. While they fucked he couldn't help but notice 'Holy shit she worshiping my dick like it's the Holy Father.' Maybe she hadn't had sex in a while but Leeteuk liked to think it's because he's the best she's ever had.

When he woke up, around 11h, she was already gonne. He didn't even spare a thought to the night before his life was almost everyday the same shit. Either he fucked someone, got high, or completely drunk. Or all 3, in those days Leeteuk hoped he would just die.

He was tired of his mind and now that sometimes religion crossed his mind he was even more tired. Sometimes he wished he could just sever off his head and watch the body fall. His thoughts about religion were usually just how much he hated it because if God was truly realy why does he have to suffer so much?

He thinks of Siwon, 'I'm blaming your God cause he doesn't exist' if only he could be as happy as him maybe he would believe. But now sex, blood, drugs reigned supreme in his life. It was either that or a suicide attempt everytime he came home.

'I take drugs daily. I pity the people trying to help me' Leeteuk knew he had no cure his mental health was far too destroyed and he was too far gone in this world of debauchery he might just well just walk on this earth til' he's gone.

Live, pretend he's getting better to make those who love him happy.

"I'm devilish." He said out loud. He couldn't wait to call Inhye tonight.


End file.
